


Drabbles with Dwarves

by silmarilz1701



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bilbo teaches vocabulary, Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor, No one messes with Gandalf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silmarilz1701/pseuds/silmarilz1701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a look at some of the other adventures Thorin's Company were a part of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scrum

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series of drabbles written for the LiveJournal event the Season of Writing Dangerously sponsored by the SilWritersGuild.
> 
> Basically my goal is to write a drabble series combining book & movie Hobbit that reaches at least 2,000 words. Each entry has a single word prompt which serves as the chapter title.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: Seeing as real life came up, I am now going to try to finish this and reach the 2,000 word mark by April Fools Day! Stick around!

"Sit down, Kili!" Fili muttered a warning.

"Fili! You heard what he said!" Kili objected angrily.

"Just sit down. That Mr Baggins should be along any minute now if Gandalf was right."

Kili muttered but sat back down and took a swig of his drink. The Green Dragon wasn't packed, but a particularly inebriated man had decided that teasing Kili would be fun. The dwarf begged to differ.

Bofur was watching the scene and nearly spat out his ale when Kili punched the man. A scrum ensued between the dwarves and men.

And that's why they were short on handkerchiefs.


	2. Whack

Whack.

The company turned around quickly to find Bilbo Baggins half sitting, half lying down on the forest floor. A tree branch was quaking from above his head.

Fili and Kili burst out laughing and Thorin rolled his eyes. Bofur and Balin helped poor Mr Bilbo up and steadied him.

Dwalin grunted and drew his weapon. With a quick swing he chopped the branch from the tree and it fell, only to land on Fili's toe.

"Ouch!"

Kili snickered at his brother which was rewarded with a smack. Thorin yelled at his young nephews and soon the company moved on.


	3. Ambivalent

Not for the last time did Bilbo Baggins wish he was at home in his arm chair sipping tea. But now that the ordeal with the trolls was over, he had time to reflect on their good fortune.

It was the ambivalent nature of the trolls themselves that saved them. Thanks to Gandalf's magic and the three idiots, the dwarves were safe.

Kili and Ori kept insisting it had been Bilbo who'd saved them.

"It was the ambivalent trolls, not me!" He insisted.

Bilbo then spent the next half hour attempting to explain the definition of ambivalent to the dwarves.


	4. Barricade

"What are you two doing?"   
"Building a barricade."

Thorin stood in front of his nephews, trying to figure out what was going on. Logs and rocks of all sizes were scattered on the ground while the makings of a wall was apparent behind Fili and Kili.

"Why in Mahal's name do we need a barricade?"

"We're short on food," Kili explained. Thorin merely stared back, confused.

"We need to protect what's left of it from Bombur," Fili added.

Thorin rolled his eyes but nodded for them to carry on. Better for everyone for them to be busy rather than bored.


	5. Unaided

"What do you mean. You want the dwarves to regain the lonely mountain?!" Gandalf choked.

"Naturally. Why wouldn't I?" Elrond asked, rather confused.

Thorin objected loudly, "That simply isn't acceptable. Lord Elrond, you must try to stop us. Elves and dwarves can't be on the same side! We must do this unaided!"

Elrond sighed dramatically, "Oh very well."

In a sarcastic and overstressed voice he went on, "Thorin Oakenshield. I forbid thee from undertaking this quest."

Gandalf and Thorin exchanged glances.

"Oh come on. Wasn't that good enough?"

"I suppose," Thorin relented.

"Good. What's next?" Elrond asked Gandalf and Thorin.


	6. Trifle

"What's it got in its pocketses, precious?"

"Oh nothing, really. Just a trifle."

"A truffle? Did it say a truffle? Gollum. We wants a truffle, yes precious!"

Now Bilbo knew he was in real trouble. This strange slimey creature, Gollum, thought he'd said truffle. Now it wanted one. But Bilbo didn't have any truffles!

"Show me the way out, and I'll give you the truffle."

"We wants it now!"

Gollum leaped at Bilbo, knocking him over. The hobbit put his hand out to catch himself, and the ring went on his finger.

"WHERE'D OUR TRUFFLE GO, PRECIOUS?!"

Bilbo was invisible.


	7. Elucidate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word prompt from LadyBrooke

"Shall I elucidate it for you? Again?" Bilbo sniffed. He shifted under that stares that the company gave him. He'd just explained his escape from the caves.

"Wait. What's elucidate mean?" Kili interrupted.

Thorin and Gandalf both sighed in defeat while the former took his forehead in his hand.

"To make clear."

"Oh."

"Does that elucidate things for you Kili?" Fili joked.

"Yes! Very elucidating, Fili!"

By the end of the journey the company had heard the word too many times to keep count.

It was an elucidating experience indeed, and Bilbo was never forgiven by either dwarf or wizard.


	8. Carnivore

"Now. This...man is a bit of a strange character. So be careful. Remember, he's special," Gandalf warned.

Ori nodded, "Mr Gandalf, what's so special about him?"

"He can turn into a bear."

"What? Like a bear..bear?" Bilbo asked, rather frightened.

"No, a teddy bear," Gandalf said sarcastically.

Dwalin raised an eyebrow, "A man..teddy bear?"

"I like teddy bears," Ori muttered quietly.

Gandalf put his head in his hands but before he could respond, Thorin did.

"No. Bear. As in man eating, skin shredding, carnivore."

That shut the company up quickly. Bilbo and Ori whispered as they walked.


	9. Restart

"....Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur."

"What is this, Gandalf, a roll call? I thought you said a few dwarves, not a swarm! You're going to have to restart." 

Gandalf cleared his throat.

"Thorin Oakenshield, Fili, Kili, Balin, Dwalin, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur." 

"And who is this bunny rabbit creature?"

"That is Mr Bilbo Baggins. He is a hobbit, Beorn."

"So, could you say their names again?"

"Thorin, Fili, Kili, Balin, Dwalin, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and Bilbo Baggins."

"There are more of these than the bees in my hives, Gandalf."


	10. Schedule

“Are you sure we aren’t running late Gandalf?”

“Bilbo for the last time, we are right on schedule!”

“I don’t like schedules,” Bombur muttered, “Gives less time for eating.”

“By noon we will reach the eaves of the Forest. From there on you will travel along the road, never leaving the path!”

“What do you mean… you,” Bilbo squeaked.

Everyone stared at Gandalf in suspicion.

“I, uh, won’t be joining you.”

A chorus of objections sounded.

“If you had read the SCHEDULE you would KNOW THAT.”

They groaned. They were caught, and there was certainly no objecting with a wizard.


End file.
